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My private pay caregiver is requesting that she be fully compensated for her usual hours even though the patient is currently in a hospital. I’ve been giving her other tasks, such as cleaning, to at least give her something to do & a reason for me to pay her. She is angry about having to “be a maid” (all work is specified to the patient, no other family members, etc. ) And I agree, she is not a maid. Housekeepers are paid a fraction of what she gets. I’ve offered to pay her to visit with the patient in the hospital, but that it will be for travel time/gas & time spent at the hospital, not the full day's pay. Over the holidays I gave her an exceedingly large cash gift in appreciation of her work. Perhaps this why she thinks she can get paid even when there’s no work?


I can’t begin to count the amount of times I’ve been sent home from a job without pay because there simply was no work available that day. I understand & appreciate that we all want job security. But I cannot control the health of the patient. Hospitalization happens.

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If you want to keep a good caregiver you would do well to remember that they have bills to pay whether they are coming into the home or not, there is no shortage of others who need care (in my area many agencies even have wait lists) and they may simply not be available when the patient returns home.
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How long do you expect the hospital stay to be?
If it is for a few days I would go ahead and pay the caregiver.
There are a few reasons for this,.
1. Your caregiver can not accept another job for a few days so while your loved one is in the hospital your caregiver still has bills to pay, food to put on her table. Not having an income is difficult.
2. If you want to keep this caregiver paying her for a few days of "vacation" is well worth keeping a good caregiver and not have to go through the hassle of hiring and training a new one.

If this is going to be an extended hospitalization and possibly a bit of time in rehab you might want to let the caregiver know so she can look for another job. It might be that you lose this one or if given notice she might give notice to another job if she gets one. (and if she is good I imagine kit will be easy for them to find employment)
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Invisible0ne Mar 2023
Thank you for answering my question.
This all started over a few day hospital stay - not prolonged. If it were prolonged, of course it’d be a completely different situation.
And Golly gosh…I gave her a gift of over $5k at Christmas for “vacations”. She gets paid over $1k a week for 3 eight hour shifts. Like I said, we all want job security, we all got bills to pay. I’m paying more than double of what she’d earn under any local agency. I have 3 other caregivers interested in working for me currently. I have absolutely no qualms about more than fair compensation. The work ain’t easy. But, if compensation without work is a common entitlement for private pay caregivers, then perhaps hiring thru agencies is better. I’m just curious if all this common for private pay caregivers. This issue has not been brought up by any other private (PTs come to mind) hires for patient care.
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Pay her. She could have found other work for the time in the hospital, but she planned on setting the time aside for you. You want to keep her? Pay her.

Is she a cash employee? If she were paid legally she could file unemployment for those days.
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Do they allow sitters in the hospital? I've had cases where I would sit with the client and nothing more. She could still do her regular duties, but since the client is in the hospital, find out if she could sit with your loved one during this time.

It is difficult finding good caregivers these days. Pay her if you want to keep her.
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Tandemfun4us Mar 2023
I agree with having caregiver being a sitter/carer in the hospital. Every-time for the past several years, I have been in the hospital with a family member or my husband BECAUSE the care in a hospital is not a quick response (maybe due to staffing or union rules or other patients’ needs). In the hospital, I was able to care by fluffing pillows, companionship/talking/reading, quick attention to toileting needs and getting ice or water or help with food. Her hours can remain the same and she can still do the job of being a caregiver AND your loved one will have consistent care which is important-elderly do not handle change well and decline quick. A lady in my mom’s MC forgot how to walk after a hospitalization and has not recovered to her prior abilities.
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This is kind of a question without a "right" or "wrong".
If this person is highly valued by you and by your relation she is caring for, then I can see that the circumstances of the patient being in care leaves her without a paycheck.
She does seem, at the same time, to harbor an attitude a tad "entitled". Shows a great unwillingness to be present to perform some other small tasks.

I would say that this is up to you. Making this a gentle "No" leaves you at risk of losing someone who you may otherwise value, and with all the vagaries of hiring another caregiver.

For myself, were I well able to afford this, I would pay her and allow her some few days off for a week. A bit of paid freedom--a gift. Not something I would/could do for long, and I would make that clear.

Ball seems to be in your court. I think no one would judge your decision either way.
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If you expect this caregiver to continue to keep you on her schedule then she has to be paid to not take other work while the client is in the hospital.
I did private-pay caregiving for many years and was in exactly this situation many times. A client gets hospitalized. Or has to temporarily go into rehab. Or goes on a vacation. Whatever.
What I always did was insist on half pay to keep them on my schedule and I do nothing. If a client or their family still expects me to clean the house and visit the client in the hospital, then it's full pay.
I always charged hourly and the price is the price. Half pay if I'm keeping you on the schedule. Full pay if you expect me to clean and stay with the client.
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JoAnn29 Mar 2023
This aide is being paid $40 an hr for 3-8hr days and gets a 5k bonus at Christmas. Don't u think she is being paid very well?
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about your response to my response...(that's convoluted!)
You are paying this caregiver well above what she would make working for an agency or working for someone else.
So there is a good possibility that you would not lose her as a caregiver.
Maybe split the difference. If she is not working because your loved one is in the hospital pay her half her normal rate.
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OK your updates make a big difference, although there may be tons of other job opportunities for caregivers there are few if any than hand out $5K holiday bonuses as well as a generous weekly paycheck with enough free hours per week to enable secondary employment, IMO the power balance is definitely in your favour and she is the one who should be thinking twice before biting the hand that feeds her.
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BurntCaregiver Mar 2023
@cwillie

I was a caregiver for several years to a man who handed out a 5K Christmas bonus to his caregivers every year. If the family can afford it, why not?
Bottom line.
If they want to keep the caregiver then pay her not to give another client the hours.
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Do a simple math, few days, how much will that cost you?
If you let her go, if you employ her properly is she not entitled to pay in lieu of notice? And if you need to find somebody else fast? Probably not that easy and possibly more expensive.
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This person is CNA? My daughter is an RN who specializes in woundcare and just fought for 95k a year on a new job. Thats about $45 a hour.

Since Burnt has done this type of work and now owns a business, I would go with half pay. But she did do some work, so maybe this time give her full pay.
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I would tell the caregiver something like this.

”I need help cleaning for moms return. I’d rather pay you over hiring someone else, so I figured I would ask you first.”

Then she can take it or leave it. If she leaves, she was probably going to find some reason to, anyway.
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I see both sides here, but if I was satisfied with the caregiver’s care, then I would pay her full salary rather than risk losing her.

All of the answers from previous posts are good. There are a couple of responses that I especially agree with though, I agree with Stacy to check the workman’s compensation to see if she is covered for housekeeping.

I also like the point that cwille made about not biting the hand that feeds her, especially since her employer has been very good to her.

Each person should show respect and gratitude for each other. It’s an equal partnership. They are dependent upon each other. Therefore, they shouldn’t be in a power struggle with one another.
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One item not raised thus far is to remember that in some cases, patients are not released from the hospital to home unless there’s a caregiver at home. So if you have a good caregiver, you might want to consider this
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Several times while my parents were hospitalized I paid my private caregivers part of their full pay just to keep them. Once a caregiver was paid to be at the hospital evenings. While in rehab I hired them to spend evenings with my dad who needed extra help.

Do what you can to offer help. My caregivers were happy to clean their apartment and do anything.

I was very blessed to have these ladies.
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I pay my caretakers when my father has to be taken away from his residence for any reason (dr appts, hospitalization, etc). I take their job seriously. It is their livelihood. I want them to know that I take it seriously. I don’t want them looking elsewhere for work when he is away. I believe it shows them respect for what they do and that they are not just someone who fills space when I need them. One of my caretakers is able to come to the hospital when my dad is there and I pay mileage as well as “hospital pay“ which is a little more hourly. The way I look at it is I would be paying them anyway, so it’s not really an additional cost other than mileage. They are giving me a huge break if they can come to the hospital and I don’t have to be there all day as well as all night.
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If you want to keep her for when the patient returns, you should continue to pay her her regular, full rate.
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Hmmmmmmm…tough decision. Couldn’t she sit at the hospital and give you time off? We spent 12 hr days with our mom while she did hospital/rehab a few months ago…If the caregiver is fabulous then yup pay her. She could be earning cash elsewhere but waits day to day to get back to work. Otherwise you could find a different caregiver after this episode ends. We paid $4600 AL rent when mom spent 30 days in rehab {extra cost} in the same community.. thats a lot of storage fees when you think about it but discharging and such would be a huge inconvenience. Sadly this is the cost of advanced old age.
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I am assuming you have a written contract in place that addresses such scenarios. Caregivers deserve to be treated as the professionals they are.
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Lizhappens Mar 2023
Even the best of jobs, when you run out of sickleave vacation and comp time you got paid without leave, no matter how professional they are.
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It depends on what arrangement you set up when you hired her. If this was not covered then it is questionable.

I’d say it really depends on how much you want to keep this one particular caregiver. Good ones are hard to find, and yet I too, don’t care for attitude.

in my seven years of being a house manager, I never paid caregivers who were not caring for my Mr. and Mrs. They too got bonuses and other perks to keep them happy and none of them complained.

I just read how much you’re paying her. My goodness this woman is not very appreciative. But I would also say at the pay rate you’ve gotten her very used to a healthy income and it would be hard to make ends meet for extended rehab or hospital stays. Other people have good ideas like half pay or having her there @ rehab even if she’s doing nothing but keeping her company.

As a former House Manager who conversed with the head of a caregiving company, we both agree - good caregivers have us by the balls. (I apologize for the graphic but it’s accurate).
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If you like her and her work, pay her. Good caregivers are hard to find. ❤️
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Givingmytime Jun 2023
agree hard to find ones you can trust
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It depends on how much you want to keep her. think of it as insurance that she will be there when he gets home. We kept paying my dad's caregiver while he was in the hospital. and when he finally moved into memory care, we gave her a generous severance pay.
she should be willing to do other work for you. keep the communication open.
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Sarah3 Mar 2023
Yup, agreed, well worth it,,,the value of a truly caring dependable caregiver is worth keeping for a loved family member. I would cut corners in other areas but not when it comes to care of a child or senior
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My facility starts LVNs at 40 bucks an hour. That’s a very generous rate to be paying someone who I assume is a cna at best to take care of just one person. She’s more than welcome to apply at my facility, which starts them at 20. They get a year end bonus of about 2500. Full time.

My in laws have had aides since 2020. For over 28 months, they’d be regularly in the hospital. They did housework to prepare for their return. They took the cat to boarding. Etcetra and so on.

This so,an will always be trouble. I suggest you get rid of her.
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Sarah3 Mar 2023
If one values the well-being and care of their relative it would be reflected in how they treat and compensate the person caring for them. For those who are ok with subpar care low pay is one way to go. Personally I don’t think the care of a loved one is an area I’d want to low ball it. Other areas are fine to spend the least amount but not care of a loved one
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Do you want her available when and if the patient returns home? You might ask her what she considers fair, then decide if you can manage it. Her own choice may have to be to find other employment. She may be concerned that her job is disappearing. Did you consider finding more steady work? Consider it economics not caring or character. Easier on everyone.
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Hi there!
I would think that if she expects to get paid while not doing caregiving because of the hospitalization of patient then she needs to do something. I don’t like this person’s attitude. How long will the patient be in the hospital?
If it’s for a short period of time then pay her but she has to do something for the pay and don’t take any crap from her! Housework, hospital visits, etc.
In the meantime, maybe look for someone else. It is difficult to find good help and if you have a good relationship for the most part, try to work something out. In the meantime, look for someone else just in case.
My family hires IHSS caregivers through our county.
Look into it. The caregivers are all background checked and experienced.
I hope you can work something out with this person but definitely look at your options.
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Make that vacation pay so that she doesn't expect another vacation or she can be a maid for a few days and improve her patient's living conditions. No one gets paid for nothing unless they're recipients of welfare.
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NeedHelpWithMom Mar 2023
Exactly!
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Any worker is replaceable. I am sure that you will be able to find someone else to fill her spot and they will most likely be grateful to have a job.

This arrangement is a partnership. Why should she demand exactly what she wants? A good deal occurs when both parties are satisfied.
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Sarah3 Mar 2023
It sounds from what the op wrote she’s been a longer term caregiver who’s fulfilling a valuable need for the client. Typically more often than not caregivers tend to be underpaid relative to the value of the role they provide. I would think one would want that quality of caregiver to stay on. If not hire any old person who most likely won’t be dependable or truly care about the client as it sounds she has
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What about the caregiver receiving unemployment benefits? That's what happens when there's no work at a lot of businesses.
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PeggySue2020 Mar 2023
Then she should work for a business that pays into unemployment.
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I think most of us understand the need for some security, caregivers are across the board underpaid for the value of what they provide caring for loved family members. Since it sounds as if she’s been a longer time valuable dependable caregiver I would demonstrate this by at a minimum paying her a flat fee for the time your relative is in the hospital, request she spend time with him or her to provide companionship and also be an advocate, as we all know patients receive better overall care in the hospital when there’s a friend or relative around so that would be a plus
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I agree that to keep a good caregiver paying her to keep her is worth it.

my issue with the caregiver is she should at least go to the hospital and sit with your Mother. She would actually be doing less as they have assistants at the hospital so she would be a companion and assist with issues when the bell isn't answered in a timely fashion.

having someone available that Mom is familiar with also helps prevent institutional dementia which I witnessed with my Grandfather.

if your Mother is released to a rehab facility Medicare will cover up to 100 days. If this happens I would insist she go to the rehab and do her hour's and earn her salary.

I appreciate you paying a generous wage and bonus. I used to get $9.00 an hour as a private aid. The aids at my Moms facility are underpaid as well. They are wonderful and it ticks me off
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NeedHelpWithMom Mar 2023
Totally agree with you that if she wishes to be paid that she could go to the hospital and sit with her. Who expects to be paid when they are doing nothing to earn their wages? I wouldn’t expect this from an employer.
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I know I was trained as an RN. I know I worked in the best paid city for nurses in the USA. BUT, at the end of my career I had a very large salary, a very strong union that allowed me to stand strong against all comers be they family members or doctors. Along with a very good salary and outrageous overtime I got 5 weeks vacation a year and 12 holiday and personal days. This is all to say nothing of pension plans and insurance for my entire family.

My only point in all this is not to say that a caregiver is the same as an RN. Not in skills, and WOW, certainly not in salary and benefits. BUT they are more and more needed, and less and less happy with the abuse of being expected to accept less than minimum wage, and no days off, no benefits at all, and to be there when wanted and not when not wanted. The fact that a senior goes into hospital for say four days? One might look on it as a welcome vacation, but certainly it is less welcome when one isn't paid and has bills that will show up no matter whether they can work that day of not.

So right or wrong I think this is coming. We are going to have to pay more for help as there are fewer and fewer to do the work and more and more who need the work done. I think if we CAN (and of course this is paramount) we would be really wise, if we have a worker who is "gold" to do all we can afford to do to appreciate and keep him or her.

Just opinion. I fully recognize how horrifically expensive in home care can be over time. Don't know how many do it. And feel awful for both sides in the issue.
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