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Mother is 86 years of age, she had a stroke in 2009 and she moved here with me I’m her daughter and my family and soon as she turned 86 this pass July seem like something just happened her lights just started to shut down and now she fusses with me and refused to do what I tell her to stand up she doesn’t stand anymore she can’t walk anymore I try to get up to use it potty she refuses to do that she will not cooperate. I must get some homecare help. I will try to keep her here at home very frustrating. My husband and my son helped out a lot but mom is very bitter now, she thinks we’re treating her bad. I realize this is progressing disease. Any suggestions ?

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Look up home care with her insurance company. My mother in law had a stroke and heart attack and required in home therapy and aid. I researched places that were on the list of providers her insurance had on their web site. Once you find a place you can reach out to them as well as her Doctor to get a "prescription"/referral. Parents can be pretty stubborn but it is understandable to lose control and not want to be told what to do and when to do it by their CHILD. I find that asking my MIL to do me a favor or help me out seems to work a lot of the times. Other times I just don't give her an option. On cooperative days I say hey can you do me a favor and stand up for a minute. If you had an aid they would help with showers and hygiene. I let my MIL know in the beginning that we are paying someone to help so she does not get to tell them no. She seems to respond to that pretty well and we only had one issues with her trying to not shower. I think it also helps that I am the authority on most things where as her son does not tell her what to do. It is tough, but patience and stepping back sometimes is a life saver. I also got the adult wet wipes to have her clean her areas(underarms, under boobs, and other crevasses) every night.
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LaQuit Feb 2020
Thank you very helpful 😊
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You can receive some help free if she is approved with Council on Aging. There is usually a wait list and not many hours.

Call agencies if you need someone immediately to care for her. I hope you get relief soon. It’s exhausting being a caregiver.

Some have said that assisted living costs less than in home caregivers. So, check out all options. I don’t know if your mom would qualify for assisted living. They would do an assessment of her condition.
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LaQuit Feb 2020
Thanks for the encouragement 😊
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My friend told his dad if he did not obey the rules... well, consequences will follow..

Okay, will place you in a very nice apartment where you can play bingo, Geography: Where in the World Are We... puzzles, ets.
Take mom to visit assisted living places with you... make appointments, and get free lunch and a tour.... Make a FUN DAY OF IT..... GET HER TO LOCK IN AND LOOK AND ENJOY THE NEW SURROUNDINGS...
Make sure it is within a 5 mile range... for your convenience.
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