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Just wondering....


Mom has only me to talk to and I'm also getting tired of the same topics repeated ad nauseam and the need to simplify everything...mom doesn't like talking on the phone to relatives or any hobbies/puzzles or even watching movies - her comprehension powers are fading, I guess...so is there any way to preserve whatever cognitive skills she has????

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Music is something that stays with us. All the words to old songs. For instance my Mom and Dad loved Oklahoma! The first musical they saw together in Chicago. They could listen to it over and over. Try some golden oldies tunes, sing along with her a while to encourage her listening, and it is anyway worth a try. I think that once the dementia hits there is little to be done about its progression. I know many doctors fill folks up on the recommended pills, but unless I am way behind, I think there are few proven to help. Read Oliver Sacks essays written toward the end of his life on the mind and dementia. He considered it another world for them, their own world, foreign to us as tho they are aliens, but a world nonetheless. It is just a matter of trying what might help you, and I don't think you can cause progression, no.
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If she has dementia I am sorry to say that it is progressive and will get worse.

What has her doctor said about what type of dementia and any medication that could slow the progression?

Have you checked into the senior activities center aka adult day care to give you a break and her a more diverse environment? I wouldn't let her make the choice, she needs to go for your wellbeing.
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Wren, I have struggled with this same issue. I have 2 aunties in FL living together. One is 97 yrs old with dementia and her perfectly lucid sister, age 100, who cares for her. I go often to visit them as I'm their PoA but live in MN. The 97-yo not only talks incessantly but asks the same questions over and over and over. It's exhausting. To cope, I just give her a smile and a 1 word answer (any answer that won't agitate her). Sometimes I ignore the questions and she'll wander off but not always. At one point I had ordered a whole bunch of "oldies" movies on dvd (like, "My Fair Lady", "The King and I" etc) but it turns out she could no longer follow the story line. What did keep her attention was goofy animal videos on YouTube (especially cat ones). She was absolutely delighted and would sit for 30 minutes at a time to watch them and she laughed a lot, which I believe is good for her (but needs to be on a screen bigger than a cellphone). Eventually I convinced the lucid sister to have Visiting Angels provide a non-medical companion to drive them around and hang out with the 97 yo. This worked out great. In FL, this costs them $22 per visit per person, about 4-ish hours p/day. I don't think there is 1 pat answer for every case so you will need to be creative and try different things. Doing the same thing every day with the same people in the same place is called a "sterile" environment. But with dementia, not sure it matters. As the other commenters have stated, the dementia just progresses no matter what. What needs to be preserved is YOUR sanity and well being. Getting breaks often will help that. If your mom has the financial means you should look into adult day care or an in-home companion. Wishing you well as you continue on that journey together!
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Thank you both
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I will say yes. Study after study has shown that mental stimulation helps with dementia. It can help a lot. The brain is like a muscle, you use it or lose it. There was a key study that showed how people that got a lot of mental stimulation didn't show behaviors of dementia even though physically they had all the symptoms, spotting and brain shrinkage. One of the hopes for helping with dementia is video games. Which has been shown to actually improve cognitive function for people with dementia. Arguably better and more dramatically than any medication to date. Mental stimulation works. I think that's pretty clear.
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