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My mom was in the hospital for 6 months, initially for stroke and then she had an aneurysm. She then got bed sores that got infected and died from the infection. Now in all that time my nephew did not go see her, even when I told him I was taking her off life support. He said he couldn't make it there because his car got impounded. I found out that was a lie, he didn't come to her funeral and when she was alive all he did was use her to get a car and pay his bills. My mom didn't have a will and now that she's gone, he gets a share of her estate. His father (my brother) died in 2018. I don't think it's right. He doesn't deserve anything, and I wish there was a way I could stop this from happening. Am I wrong for feeling such anger towards all of this?

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No that's not how it works. If mom had no will then the estate is disbursed to husband. If he is dead it goes to the children. If your brother is dead and you are the sole remaining sibling everything goes to you. Without a will the state will have to probate. And after all debt is paid anything remaining is your inheritance.
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Regardless, let it go. I am sorry you feel the way you do. But you can never control other people's actions and feelings. Just let it go, he will never be the compassionate person you want him to be.
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You’re not wrong about your feelings, they’re valid. Check your state laws because I don’t believe he inherits his dad’s share if there’s no will. She should have had one. Everyone should. A will can eliminate a lot of potential problems.
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I am sorry for your recent loss.

Money goes around the world, to the deserving & the non-deserving. Don't let it eat you up.

But do get some the facts.
Without a will, who is handling your Mom's estate?
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Did your Dad have a Will with any stipulations regarding his children?

Your Mom died intestate, no will. You need to become the Administrator so you can handle her finances. You will get a short certificate for this. All bills, debts and leans need to be satisfied. You do everything an Executor would but...the State determines who inherits. Children first, grands second. Like said, you need to find out how your State works. Will you as the only living child receive the estate or is there a trickling effect that your brothers children get his portion of the estate.

Yes, you have to let it go. Mom just wasn't that important to her nephew. She should have had a Will.
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sp19690 Nov 2022
Grandchildren only inherit if children of parents are all dead.
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Let it go. Don't waste your time and emotions on him. Perhaps he had a reason for not caring for your mother. My mother's three grandchildren all had reasons to not speak to my mom the last six months of her life.
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Are you certain 100% that he is due a share? He was not even a direct grandchild but a nephew. You are the surviving adult child. Odds may be in your favor that he isn't going to get anything. You can probably research the answer online for your state (which you don't list in your profile, so there's only so much help the forum can give you).

I think a 1-time consult with an estate attorney would answer your question better and more accurately. If it costs $250-$350 to figure out how to stop him from getting anything is it worth it to you?
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MJ1929 Nov 2022
He's OP's nephew and a grandchild of the deceased.
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Estates without wills are left to the closest of kin who are living. That's you, not your nephew.

If you mom had a will she'd likely have left it to you and your brother with the stipulation that if one preceeds her in death that either the survivor inherits everything or the survivor gets half and the children of the dead sibling split the other half.

Since she had no will, you inherit the whole thing.
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Your mom died “intestate” and those almost always go first & foremost to lineal heirs. Which is first the surviving spouse and if the spouse is themselves deceased then to all the children from their marriage which is you & your siblings if still living. Then to any other children from the deceased parents prior marriages.

You - as the child (the “issue” of your parents marriage)- are the first and foremost the lineal heir.

Your nephew as moms grandchild is NOT. So just where in all this does he get this idea? He’s BS’ing & trying to bamboozel you in all this. Your brother died years ago; he predeceased his / your mom so has no standing as a direct lineal heir. He died 2018; brothers estate is done.

But exactly what is your moms “estate”. A home? Car(s)? Land? Other types of investments? Just What are the supposed assets??

If she had a life insurance policies those pay whomever named beneficiary. So if mom named only you as the beneficiary on her $5,000 Term Life insurance policy the $5K is yours and yours alone as her beneficiary. On life insurance policies, you file for these on your own to the insurance company, get them whatever they need to process the payout and they have nothing to do with probate if mom named you as beneficiary. They fall outside of probate.

But home, cars, usually mean probate is needed. There are different levels of probate: small estates, Muniment or Title, simple or full. It depends on the assets. Here’s what you can do:
1. Get several copies of her death certificate. Maybe 6.
2. Call probate office for your county or go on line to see what you as the lineal heir need to file to settle the estate from an intestate death.
3. Get the paperwork and fill it out as best as you can. If mom owned a home or a car, you have to find the paperwork as to her ownership. Like title for the car; Release of the Deed of Trust for the home issued when a mortgage was paid off.
If probate asks for your dads death paperwork, you need to look for that as well. If dad died ages ago, and mom got title changed on house or cars over to her name, all you’ll likely need is a xeroxed copy of his death certificate.

If she had no debts (you will need to show this is the situation), you can likely do small estate affidavit, and you can file paperwork at the courthouse to change title on moms home, car, etc to you to. Once title changed to your name, it’s yours and then you can sell or keep car or house. You kinda need to allow for time to do all this as most places require 3 - 6 months post death before anything can be done to change ownership, as this 3-6 months allow for debts to surface.

&. You will need to do something to establish that you are the only lineal heir. Probate court show have info as to what needs to be provided to the court. Like your parents marriage certificates & birth certificates of each child & if if any of the kids died then their death certificate. If parents only lived in 1 city or county it’s pretty straightforward. If not, there are attorneys who specialize in lineal and it’s not expensive but not a DIY. Whatever the case you are moms lineal heir.

I’m kinda concerned that grandson somehow got grandma to be a cosigner on his car / credit cards / other lending. He sounds like a real POS who would do this. If this at all happened, those could end up being debts of moms estate. If you find that there are bills in moms name showing up for stuff or debt collectors seeking payments from mom for stuff that is obviously nephews STOP WHATEVER you are doing and find a Probate attorney who does litigation ASAP. This all has to be cleared up to ever get through probate. It is imho not ever a DIY to deal with.

So mom was in a hospital for 6 months? An actual hospital? 6 months?Or was she in a hospital and then went from the hospital to a skilled nursing facility (like a NH) or a hospice facility or an long term acute care facility?? How was her care paid for?? Was Medicaid used?
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Please take note of what Igloo said about beneficiaries and life insurance policies. The person named as beneficiary gets the money. It does not go thru probate. The money received does not have to be spent on any of Moms bills or split between siblings. Same with bank accts. If they have a beneficiary, that person gets the money.

I had a friend who had a 100k insurance policy with her employer. Her daughter was beneficiary. The friend remarried. It was always thought that out of that 100k, her daughter would pay for her funeral. When the time came, the daughter refused. The husband had no standing because daughter was not under any legal obligation to pay for her Moms funeral out of the insurance policy.
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Some people believe that that "per stirpes" exist in intestate cases. They don't. My mother's will had per stirpes attached to one of her sons. She wanted to make sure if he died before her, that his two kids would get his share. she didn't extend to my son. She said she didn't like him. That wasn't news to anyone. she talked about him from the time he was born.
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Your Mom died intestate. In-tess-TATE, as it is pronounced. This means that your Mom's estate will be divided according to the laws of your state. There is no way around these laws so you may as well relax and let things play out as they play out. If your state allows the division that goes to a son to be passed to HIS son or other issue if he is dead then that is how it will play out. You can likely access the laws of your state online. An "administator" will be appointing by probate court if the estate is of any size. That person acts as an executor of a will would ask, to divide the estate. If that is you, you will be obligated to divide the estate according to law. If your Mom had a sizable estate this is certainly sad, and it serves as warning to the many who have been putting off doing their simple wills. I am sorry to tell you this, but there you are. Let it go and hope that this is a lesson this lad will carry forward for good. Get on with your life. I am so very sorry for your loss.
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igloo572 Nov 2022
Alva, one issue in all this is that if you as family & possible heir(s) have the expectation that the State is proactively going to deal with your now deceased family members affairs, that is NOT LIKELY EVER GOING to happen. Yes the laws for probate & property rights of the State you live in will matter big time. But it’s on heirs to start & pay for whatever- like retain an attorney- to research / file / do whatever to get assets into new title or sold.

in my experience as being an Executor X 3 and spending way too many hard bench hours sitting in courthouses, it’s not unusual for ownership not to get settled / transferred but for the asset to continue to exist for ages. It blithely stays in the deceased name and continues to get bills for property taxes, get sold at annual tax sale (but usually does not get tax sale redemption unless it has something special abt it) otherwise just sits there becoming blighted for eons. I see these “dead & decaying” old houses regularly in my travels in the Gulf So.

The OP is going to have to actively deal with the legalities of her moms estate; she cannot expect State to do things. Should she not, that nephew of hers can step into the void.
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Campbell7,

Look at the intestacy order of inheritance in your state, that will tell you who stands to inherit from your mom's estate and in what order.

With your dad having passed, it may be that his estate all passed to her and that would place you, as their child, ahead of your nephew, issuing from your brother, now deceased. I'm sorry that you've had so many deaths in your family, it's very hard. Pls try to be mindful that your nephew may still be struggling with his father's death and couldn't face your mom's, his grandmother's, illness and subsequent death; we all deal with things differently.

Fair or not, when a person passes without a Will, the state laws determine the line of inheritance and there is very little one can do to challenge this. You are in direct line, your nephew is not.

I hope that you find your peace with your profound losses and that the estate settles in a manner that you can find your own peace with. Family death brings out the worst in too many of us and I hope you do all that you can to make peace with the probate process while actively working with an estate attorney to get matters properly settled.
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