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I found many good literature and guidance for seniors on the Internet and from this forum. But as for POA related advice, it's always referred to consulting with Elder law attorney. Surely I understand the importance of getting professional help but I'm also an independent decision making adult.



Is it possible for a good website to provide good general forms of POA, a kind of DIY practical assistance, and at the same time recommend individuals to seeing attorney, because we trust this site more than just download forms from random sites? Thus it'll let us make our own decisions whether we should DIY, partial DIY, or go to professionals. We are the ones who ultimately responsible for our own choice, even when we decide which professionals to go with. That will be very helpful.



Health Care Power of Attorney
Financial Power of Attorney
Estate Planning Power of Attorney



Any thoughts on this will be appreciated.

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My DH and I had, for many years, a holistic will that we'd written ourselves (with a little help from a lawyer friend).

About 5 years ago we decided to go the legal route and spent $1500 on a complete 'legal' will and it was worth every penny.

Our attorney had ideas and thoughts and advice that we simply would never have thought of on our own. Mostly how best to distribute our estate to our kids in a way that was equitable and what we wanted.

This year I am going to purchase the niches for our ashes. We had the columbariums (containers for ashes) made by a dear friend who does gorgeous woodworking. I will also update the will and make a few changes. I will also pre-plan my funeral and DH will pre-plan his.

This is for the KIDS. Mom died last month and I saw how smoothly all the funeral and such went and I was convinced that she had given us a great gift. We literally had to do ONE thing and that was choose flowers. What could have been very stressful and hard was, instead, a sweet and organized event that was exactly what mom wanted.

My YB is the executor and he emails us as things progress as far as annuities and such are being liquidated.

I've seen enough really ugly family fights b/c somebody tried to run the show the way THEY wanted. If a will is done within an attorney's purview, you always have that 3rd party input, if needed.

Meeting with an attorney is not a scary, "Oh my gosh, I'm gonna die" situation. It's a gift of peace and security. I am glad we're giving our kiddoes this gift.
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Freshi Oct 2022
Okay, we'll try to find a suitable attorney. Thank you for your advice.
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As someone who learned to be POA and Trustee of Trust from the START having zero knowledge I will tell you that it is VERY HARD to do on your own. VERY and that for a very simple, well organized estate. This is a legal and fiduciary responsibility for which the funds of the person you are acting for pay for help and expert advice.
We here can answer simple questions for you one at a time involving one particular and personal issue, but you need the knowledge of the laws of your OWN state, and you need the information of your own person.
I would say to attend one hour with an elder law attorney. Tell them "What do I need to know". "How can I have you on hourly pay for legal questions I need answered". What are the best guides for me to look up how to be a POA. The government has a short and sweet booklet on how to be POA. Do all you can online and the name of this game is research research and more research.
For my initial advice:
While your senior is well and able take them to a good lawyer and get an EXCELLENT POA done. Yup, about 2,000 to 3,000 for that and a Trustee of any Trust, but well worth it as you will be able then to sell the gold out of their teeth, as the lawyer warned my brother asking me to be his POA and TTE.
Number two: Now you have the trust time to decide who does what. Are you acting to do all bills, sales, investments, everything? Then the senior needs his or her own spending account you will watch over, and that cannot be scammed. But their own. And you go to all banks, investment firms as POA with your papers and you do the rest, or hire a fiduciary to do it.
Number three. Records keeping. Meticulous!!!!!!! And accounting for every penny in and out with PROOF. Files for everything you do. I started with a wine box. Perfect size, and in the beginning I needed the wine (hee hee only kidding; don't even take this on if you need wine).
So there's your start. Now work on the library and the computer. For simple simple start get Grube's book Please Don't Die but if you DO Die What Do I Do Next.
Sorry, but consider. This is something that will be tough and you will be full of anxiety for a while. After a year it may flow more smoothly. I still can't get over my two days in California DMV over an issue with my brother's truck. Yup, complicated. But everything seems to be in the beginning.
I surely do wish you luck. There is NO WAY to make this easy.
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Freshi Oct 2022
yes, so much to learn even finding the professionals. Thank you.
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Freshi, you asked how to find a good Elder Law Attorney. I found mine by going through AgingCare. Scroll down to the bottom of this page and click on ELDER LAW ATTORNEYS. You will find a section where you can put your city or zip code.

Once I got to that page, I wrote down names and law firms, and went to the law firms' own website to get more background information on the Attorney. In one firm, I was so impressed with this one Elder Law Attorney that I made an appointment with her. She's been great. Even had my parents go see her as their legal documents were older than dirt. I wasn't sure my Mom would even talk to the Attorney as Mom was from the old school that men are smarter. The Attorney won her over !!

Do not use Yelp reviews or any other common reviews. The company I worked for I looked over the reviews and asked the boss if he remembered these clients as I had no record of them. Nope, none of the names rang a bell, and here those people gave the company bad reviews.

In my area, we have a membership group called Consumer Checkbook, and I use that group to get reviews for anything I need done be it legal or around the house. The group doesn't take any paid advertising like other on-line referral groups.
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Freshi Oct 2022
Thank you. I will keep you warning in my mind while searching for the right attorney.
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Bogleheads.org is a great site for financial education. There are several estate attorneys who regularly answer questions when asked.

There ia a small book called "5 and 55" about planning for eldercare. Author's name is Grimaldi. I highly recommend it. Available at most libraries.
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Freshi Oct 2022
Thank you for the suggestions.
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The big rationale for having an attorney is that State laws vary and how States approach property rights & probate system vary by state. Pulling a document off the web may not at all be suitable for your State. That’s why an attorney well versed in your states laws is really important.

Also for chancery & probate courts nowadays, items are entered primarily via attorneys account & attached to their bar card #. An individual can attempt to DIY things…. But I have found that the formatting on documents is super important. If you don’t have a clear idea on how to do this as a nonattorney you are running risk.

sometimes banks will have POA documents tailored to the State they give to customers and notarize for free. We had this when our son was out of State for college, we ended up with 2 POAs done, 1 for each State. I’d see what my bank might have before I’d use something off the web.
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Freshi Oct 2022
I got it. Thank you.
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Freshi, my husband and I have all attorney generated documents. Simply because the ones from our attorney generals website didn't cover very specific issues. I would never give anyone, besides my husband POA over my estate planning. That should be set in writing long before we become unable to decide. So, no, no estate planning POA.

My dad never planned, didn't have 2 pennies to rub together and needed an advocate, with authority, so we downloaded the POAs from our AGs website and never had a problem. It served the purpose for his situation.

The reason people recommend seeing an elder law attorney, not me, I recommend a certified elder law attorney, two different dogs ime, is because we can't possibly know personal circumstances. How could we really recommend anything except seeing a professional? You are correct, you are a reasoning adult, with the ability to make your own choices and decisions. Remember, you asked for the advise, don't be offended by what was given. If you want to do it yourself, do it.

Best of luck with whatever you decide.
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Freshi Oct 2022
wow, I really appreciate your comments. A realtor recommended me to see Estate Planning Attorney and I almost want to see him soon. Now your insight will let me think twice. Thank you.
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Freshi, many moons ago I worked for an attorney and even having that knowledge I wouldn't would even think about doing any of my own legal documents.

All it would take is one misplaced word or one missing word to really mess up the document big time. Plus a website wouldn't ask the personal questions that an Elder Law Attorney would ask after speaking with a Client.

I remember my parents had their real estate attorney draw up their Power of Attorney and Will. Decades later when I saw a copy of their Will, I quickly told them they need to see an Elder Law Attorney pronto as there were too many land-mines in the Will.

Plus Federal and State laws change on a regular basis. Our Elder Law Attorney will send us email telling us what laws have changed that would effect our Will and/or Trusts.

Yes, using an Elder Law Attorney can be expensive, but so can a messed up Will when it is Probated.
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Freshi Oct 2022
Thank you so much for your personal experience. Now what bothered me is who would be the right Elder Law Attorney to work with, anyone or do Google search and read the review?
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I use professionals for these matters. Get good assistance. Not DIY on the internet.
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Freshi Oct 2022
Thank you for the advice.
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If you own any real estate, too, trust me -- you want to deal with a trust and estate attorney and set up a trust. The attorney will also do the POAs. (I've never heard of an Estate Planning POA, by the way.)

Online, you can check with Nolo Press -- nolo.com.

Expand your attorney search to include "trust and estate attorney," not just elder law attorney. I think you'll have better luck finding one.

Also, it's not exactly rocket science law, so pretty much any T&E attorney should be competent enough to put together a basic trust unless you have very complicated affairs. If you did, you'd likely have attorneys on retainer already.

We had our trust, which includes our bank and investment accounts, two LLCs, and four pieces of real estate put together by an attorney for $1500. It took him a week.
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Freshi Oct 2022
Thank you for giving me your personal reference.
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I do think it is good advice to find an elder law attorney in your state. That being said, I relate to your independence. You could possibly find help by going to your local Courthouse to the Records Department. There you can find all legal documents on file by category. I did this once for a guardianship I needed to do in Nevada when my sister was on life support. I needed it that day - not a week or two later when an attorney could fit me in for an appointment. I simply reviewed a number of guardianship requests, copied the applicable language, and took it immediately to the Family Law Court. It worked and I was able to stop the estranged husband from taking my sister off life support before we understood what was happening.
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