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Whose siblings should chip in for what?
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If your talking about your wifes siblings or even yours, its nice when they do but they are not obligated to help out. It has never crossed my mind that in my old age (I am 71 and really don't consider myself that old) my siblings are responsible for my care.

The family dynamics have changed in the last 50 or so years. Women holding down full-time jobs. Children and siblings moving to other States for work. All having lives of their own. Traveling more. Rarely do you find "close knit" families. With the cost of living 2 people in the family have to work.

So what do you do...you find resources to care for you. If you have the money, your hire in home help or you move to an Assisted Living. If no money, you apply for "in home" medicaid. Call Office of Aging and see what resourses they offer. A bus to take you to appts and shopping. Sorry to say, we are on our own in this world as it is. We have become a "me" nation.
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You are caring for your wife. Siblings have no obligation or responsibility to help. It would help if you would consolidate your questions and provide more story.
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If your wife is 71, then likely her siblings are in their 70's also, or even older.

What would you expect them to do? They are probably dealing with their OWN health issues.

I have helped out a sib now and then when the absolute need arises, but on a very short term basis--seriously--1-2 days at the most.

I went through chemo with my cancer and while it would have been beyond lovely to have someone coming in to clean the week of chemo--I never asked for help. DH refused to clean--he couldn't deal with it, so I just let things go until I felt better.

My sibs are all still working/raising families. I'd go to an agency before I'd ask the family.
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