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I had to re read who the author of this was because I thought it was me...one thing for sure...you are not the only one going through this....& we all have problems w no help from family members & caregivers who are incompetent. It has come to that point in time that she needs a higher level of care that you cannot physically, mentally or emotionally provide. You are putting yourself at risk too. Hugs 🤗 to you.
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Hi,
You sound as though you are straining against the weight of your responsibilities for your wife (and for good reason!)
The first thing that came to mind was a bible verse-
1 Peter 5:6
Humble yourselves, therefore, under God's mighty hand, that He may lift you up in due time.
Cast all your anxiety on Him because He cares for you.

I think that means give God all your burdens. Ask Him to lift this weight off your shoulders. Then believe it will happen.

I had what felt like a nervous meltdown nearly 2 years ago. This superanxiety came out of nowhere. I tried roughing it out, then went to a therapist who immediately (1session) sent me to a "shrink", who prescribed "zombie pills". I couldn't live without ANY emotion, so I quit taking them. I tried for a follow up for the therapist (just for talk therapy) but couldn't get an appointment for over 4 months!)
Shamefully to say, that's when I turned to God. I asked Him to remove the anxiety and it dissipated.
Let God be on your team.

I'm so happy you're going on your fishing vacation. Let us know what you caught. Hopefully you'll feel renewed.
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Staffbull—I deliberately stopped ranting about my troubles with my parents to my hubby because he’s got a lot of work stress. He’s interested in my parents and how they are doing of course, but I make a synopsis and then pick a good time to keep him updated. This week my parents had a pretty good week I’m happy to report because last weekend my mom fell and had a mini stroke. She’s bouncing back already. My dad has himself a visiting nurse and PT visiting him back at the house.

I feel a marriage can be ruined by talking and ranting negativity! Hubby gives me synopsis of his week. He allows a bit of crying and pets my head. I shore him up the best I can.
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Katie22;

"Your feelings sound so familiar to me. I often would grab my head and say "this can't be happening". I feel sometimes like my life is some sick joke there for some entity's amusement." I had to smile at this because yes, I feel like that too! Some pantheon of spoiled super-beings with nothing better to do than mess with us!!! I even recently said that this all feels like being in the ocean, shoreline in sight, soon to be on the beach for some rest, when along comes a rouge wave that pushes me further out away from the shore!! Sometimes it seems to be a daily occurrence, other times those stupid beings either give us a day of respite or are too focused on messing with someone else!

Although I do not physically care for our mother, I do get ALL the rest of it - bills, finances, arranging/providing transportation to appointments, applying for various benefits/setting up accounts for these, responding to any "crisis" that arises with mom, etc etc etc... Although I was more or less forced into retirement, I am grateful that I do not have to work AND do all this. I am somewhat resentful that all this has fallen to/been taken on by me. There is only so much one can do in a day. Having my own crises to deal with don't help (current financial crunch and unexpected loss of a much loved kitty, along with day-to-day watching over a 19yo who is probably on borrowed time at this point. However, I do not believe younger brother (only other POA) manages his OWN affairs properly, and I cannot see him doing this very well. Older brother does not have POA and is not local (2 days drive away), so that is another challenge.

I do try to just take one day at a time, knowing full well that anything I plan will go to hell within hours of getting up. If something can be done, it will get done. If not, hopefully there will be another day. My "life" and "retirement", as well as the repairs/renovations that are needed in the house I am in, are currently on hold indefinitely. My parents enjoyed their retirement for MANY years before dad finally was put in nursing home by mom, and she was okay at home alone for about 8 years after his passing, still enjoying her life. Other family and friends passed away, then the dementia crept in. Little by little taking care of her needs has taken over my existence.

lstuscany;

So yes, we can all relate at some level to what you are going through. You gave up many years care-giving for multiple family members, and at the least you should look in that mirror and know all those lines you see were well deserved. Someone once told me my scars from surgery are "tattoos of life." So be the wear and tear on your visage. Many family members back off and provide no help at all. You've done your time and then some, so you do need to focus on yourself sometimes now - let some of the rest slide for given times of the day and reflect on what you want out of life. You can still care for others, but you need to set aside time for yourself. As noted before and by yourself, trying to discuss what is going on with others can lead to standoffishness from some others. They cannot relate or make it sound simple to get through things. They shut you out. Try to limit those discussions with those who really do care and can relate, especially here. With those who cannot deal with your need to talk about all that goes on, keep those relationships on neutral topics. You do need those relationships as well, just to take focus off everything else. Focus on common interests, new interests, enjoying time with your daughter, who is a joy in your life!! We never know what each day will bring, so you do need to find time to enjoy anything that does bring a smile to your face. They may be few and far between, but relish them!
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I am praying for you now- that the Lord would provide for your every need!! The Bible says in Isaiah 41:10 "Do not fear, for I am with you;
Do not anxiously look about you, for I am your God.
I will strengthen you, surely I will help you, Surely I will uphold you with My righteous right hand."
Is there a trustworthy person (family member, church pastor, etc.,) that could assist you in tackling these issues? Talk in depth with your Dr & or social worker & they should help you navigate the Medicare, PT & OT issues but I do totally understand the battle in that. You may feel alone, but you are not! I am praying that the Lord would sustain and strengthen you in this great difficulty, & in this, would give you His wisdom & a trustworthy helper to come alongside you in this. Above all, take care of yourself in the basics... getting adequate rest and eat nutritiously. Would it help to write down/categorize your problems & also record any possible solutions?This way, you can get organize your thoughts and mark off problems as they're solved. Keep us posted. May the Lord grant you peace in this!
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I feel for you, though I'm not saying pity. Please don't think that. Go and enjoy yourself. I pray dear Lord please send this caring and wonderful man help. 
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Your feelings are familiar to many of us. And as some have already stated, God is a very present help in times of trouble, of we are his children.
Best wishes to you and will be praying for you. Hope you get to go fishing. Fishing is great if someone baits the hook and takes the fish off. :)
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Have thought of hospice? Its notva death sentence. But if your loved one has 6 months left, an some on it for a yr or 2, it could releave some burden. Bath aid 3x awk, social worker to help. Pharmacy help. Equipment free. Its all free but it all has tk do with why she would ve put in there an a Dr has to agree. You get 5 days of respite care free. Look into it. You never know. Sometimes there volunteers that can help. But def take care if u mentally, a group or church group (free) an your physical helath. Walk. Ride bike. Get sun. Take Vit D. Get a physical an talk about mental issue's. I have depression an anxiety an a caregiver since 2012. Im 49. Married. 2 sons. 20 an 15 now. But heavy strain on my marriage last yrs. No friends. Disappeared. No money cause I cant work due to pardnts. Appts, pills, rx's, etc..my Dad is on Hospice since Jan. Non-compliant. C H.F. an A-Fib, diabetic , p.a.d., diverticulosis, dleep apnea, asthma, on Coumadine. High blood pressure. Has had sm stroke in cognative area. Slight dementia . Mom takes carevof herself but Dad is king an always has been. His way or highway. So she is exhausted with own health probs. So I dk most of every thing. They live in a independent living facility but fixing to hire a caregiver. I cant do this anymore. Im voing nuts. An lost myself. SO take care of you! Goodluck.
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Not sure if you feel you can get away for a week or not. Let me tell you, YOU HAVE TO LEAVE the SITUATION for a week. If you don't leave and regroup and regenerate, YOU WILL breakdown and not be there for anyone. Can she go into care full time by medicaid, and you visit her often? It sounds like you both need the same amount of help and she is getting it from you and you are not getting help for yourself. Please please PLEASE take care of yourself FIRST. A break is needed and if it against the wishes of your person, DO IT ANYWAY since you will be no help if you break. And you will break......eventually, if you continue down the path you are on right now. PLEASE take this advice immediately, not next month or even next week.......IMMEDIATELY.
I am hoping and praying for your situation. PEACE.

I think there is a misunderstanding on this thread. I don't think you have decided yet to take time for yourself, but maybe I am wrong.
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