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My brother adds no one appointed me caretaker. He says I am in poor health and shouldn't be caring for her. I feel fine. So can I be held liable if she dies? I take her to the hospital or Doctor if she is feeling ill or has issues. Thanks.

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Of course you will be liable, you’re perfectly capable of indefinitely preventing death for a very elderly person, right? People don’t just grow old and die of natural causes…

Your brother is an idiot
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MJ1929 Dec 2022
Nailed it.
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Is he trying to get you to put her in a nursing home? Does he want to take over her care and/or bank account? Who's going to do the work if you don't do it?

My siblings threatened me and now they are stuck caring for our mom. They wanted the power and now they are sorry that they got what they wanted. I only do the things I feel like doing and they have to be polite or I don't do anything.

Your brother is being a jerk.
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I would ignore him. If you have done good …reasonable care there is nothing to worry about. Or pack her up and drop her at his place with suitcase in hand…..outsiders do not understand how hard this job is!
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Liable for what? The only way you could be held responsible would be if she was being abused or her needs are being neglected to such an extent that it causes her death, and that would be a criminal matter. Why is your brother catastrophizing, is he concerned for your well being or does he have some other reason?
That said it would be wise for a 90 year old to have her legal ducks in a row. Has your mother assigned you or anyone else have POA for health and finance? Has she signed HIPAA forms to allow you access to her medical info? Has she made a will? A living will?
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Only God is liable when someone dies, unless there is malpractice involved from the medical community. Your brother is blowing hot air and should be thanking you for your help instead of issuing threats!😑
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If you want to get snarky and play with his head a little, tell him you will countersue for making false claims and defamation of character. That should set him back on his heels a little. Sometimes it can be fun to taunt fools. Well, there goes my Christmas gifts from Santa, I don't think Santa likes it I get snarky and advise others to do so, too.

Seriously, though, your brother has no legal recourse unless he has evidence of outright neglect, which doesn't sound like he has. In short, he's blowing hot air.
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What a bully! I would get an attorney to send him a letter to cease and desist!

Hold you liable?! She's 90 for Pete's sake!
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It sounds as if your brother's concern is for you as well as for your mother.

I doubt the question of liability really matters, does it. He's just chosen the most forceful way he can think of to express his opinion that this isn't good for either of you, and whether or not that opinion is valid is what you should consider.

What kind of poor health is he talking about? What does he suggest would be better than the current situation?
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lealonnie1 Dec 2022
Brother has an extremely peculiar way of expressing his "concern" for his sister by threatening to sue her when their mother dies! 😑
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Tell your brother to go pound sand. If your mother is adequately cared for, eats good food, isn't filthy, doesn't live in a disgusting, hoarded mess and receives regular medical care then you are doing just fine as her caregiver.
No, you cannot be held liable if she dies. Your mom is 90 years old. She's had a long life. You aren't responsible if she were to pass away. So tell your brother he'll have to sue God.
He should be grateful to you for keeping mom out of a nursing home and in turn also preserving potential assets. What you should do is take mom to a lawyer and get made her POA if you haven't already.
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oldageisnotfun Dec 2022
Much respect to you BurntCaregiver. Your reply is really good!
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Your brother is a selfish moron. Tell him that his verbal abuse may earn him a banishment. Kick him out or hang up on him if he ever talks nonsense like that to you again. First remind him that if he ever does "sue" you, when (not if) he loses iin couourt he may also have to pay your legal fees as well as his own. Idiot.
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