Follow
Share
Read More
This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Find Care & Housing
My gracious - do you expect your mother to be an Olympian? She is 99 years of age! Give her a rest.
Helpful Answer (4)
Report

First my mom lost the ability to walk, then to stand and transfer and by the end she barely moved at all. When she couldn't stand I made the decision she needed to be in a nursing home, where she was transferred with a ceiling lift to her tilt in place wheelchair - she was never left to wither away in bed. It was sad yes, but hardly the worst thing that happened to her in her final years.
Helpful Answer (2)
Report

Janisk, I am living your exact situation at this very moment and have wondered the same thing.

My father is 92. He had surgery for a broken hip 9 days ago. He was transferred to SNL for rehab yesterday. Twice, while in the hospital, the physical therapist managed to get him into an almost standing position so he could pivot from the bed to the chair. He did not want to do it because it hurt. The therapist was very patient and finally got him into the chair. The process back into the bed was even worse. He just doesn't want to experience any pain in order to get better.

I understand why people say our loved one has led a full life and should be allowed to rest and not experience the pain of rehab. But I don't understand, in our situation, how we can let an otherwise healthy person lay there and wither away.

I wish I had an answer for you and me both. For now, I think the best we can do is take it one day at a time and pray our loved one will regain the will and strength to participate in therapy and the healing process.

I will pray for you and yours as I pray for me and mine.
Helpful Answer (5)
Report

I myself am disabled and can't stand myself for being this way. But I am a fighter and super-achiever so I will literally fight to the death to overcome any problem or obstacle and I have a 90% success rate. Not everyone is like this - they just give up because they don't have the mental will or physical strength to do what others want of them. And for me, no amount of therapy did anything unless it was in water/swimming which I try to do about twice a week. But some people fear water or have no access to a pool. You must stop and think - she is no longer who she was and maybe she just wants to be at peace, regardless of why she wants that. It is her life, dementia or not. Leave the poor soul in peace and let nature take its course.
Helpful Answer (2)
Report

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Ask a Question
Subscribe to
Our Newsletter