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I went from being slim and trim and strong living on a small produce farm where we also cut, split, and hauled wood to heat our house and water to moving in with my dad almost 4yrs ago to care for him. As his weight has dropped, and I have had to add more calorie-rich foods to his diet, I've ended up gaining 40lbs! I don't stress eat, I just taste and sample so much while I'm cooking and baking that by the time I sit down with dad at the table, I've already eaten a meal!

I don't recall that anyone has mentioned the sleep factor in this weight-gain process. I keep reading how important it is to losing lbs and maintaining a healthy weight. Not always easy as a caregiver!

My daughter and I bought Fitbit watches a month ago, and it has helped me tremendously. It tracks my activity and sleep patterns, among other things. Three nieces and a couple friends join us to do a group challenge each week that keeps me motivated to keep moving instead of sitting when dad's sitting.

Also, I just received a beginner's guide to the Mediterranean diet that sounds so clean and fresh and doable. I did a week's worth of meal prep yesterday. Lots of veggie chopping. I'll just have to stop tasting the gravy that I'm sure my dad will still want to pour over everything!
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Yes! I take a steroid medication that causes weight gain while I'm on it, but when I go off it I struggle a bit, but have always lost the weight again. Then I became a caregiver - that put more weight on me than steroids! A lot more! Stress, lack of sleep & poor eating habits (running to food for comfort) took their toll on my weight.
Many of us caregivers are caring for our elderly parents, so we are often at least in middle age, when our metabolism naturally beings to slow down, and pounds can creep on even if our lives are perfect.
I have found something very, very helpful. I stopped eating sugar.
I know it sounds difficult because many of our comfort foods are sugary (even some salty snacks sometimes have sugar in them - check the labels). But if you can keep it out of your house, and don't eat sugar for a while - the cravings for sweets goes away! It's such a relief when that happens because it makes you feel like you have more control. I also find I'm less hungry overall, possibly because instead of sugary treats I'm eating the foods my body really needs.
If there are others in your house who bring home sugary treats, perhaps you can ask them to avoid buying things you really like. For example - I like dark chocolate, my hubby likes milk chocolate. So if he brings home milk chocolate Hershey bars I have no temptation. He loves Whoopie pies & so do I! But he also likes Shoo-Fly pie, but I don't - so I buy him that instead. There are work-arounds for you & the folks you live with if you can agree on what comes in the house.
Also think about what you DO need to eat for your health & weight loss. Make sure you have those foods on hand - and some of them easy-to-prepare for the really rough days when you have no time to cook for yourself!
The only other thing that's helped is taking in enough protein and getting plenty of sleep. I know, the sleep part is easier said than done when you're a caregiver!
If it's hard to shut your mind off at night there are many ways to help you relax - it's different things for different people, so you need to find what works for you. Meditation, prayer/saying the rosary, reading, exercising earlier in the day, a warm shower, a cool & dark room to sleep in, (dark is important - light goes through your eyelids & wakes up the brain!), etc. Some of these things also reduce stress. Lack of sleep and stress effect the chemical balances (hormones, etc.) in our bodies and are definitely linked to weight gain.
We need to take time to care for ourselves, or it will be difficult to care for anyone else! (I need to take my own advice, haha!)
Hope this helps, and good luck to everyone!
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waterfalls Sep 2019
Thank you angel eyes. Great advice. Heartfelt. I basically sleep good at night but there are nights where the business from the caregiving and what needs to be done is so overwhelming it takes at least two hours or more for sleep to settle in. It's so much work. I feel like a CEO. Overseeing mom the staff at adult home, neglect, abuse, case managent. It's a lot. Sometimes I miss lunch. I need to find some quick easy healthy foods to put in baggies. Sometimes I feel like I need a secretary. Are there caregivers for caregivers??
Waterfalls
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My Sister was Overweight long before Caring for Sad Dad, But now that she is a Busy Beaver, Stressed out Taking care of Him, Plus her own Place and Husband, And An Additive, Her menal and Physical Issues, She is Beginning to lose Weight.
Try and Exercise, Eat a Little Less, Tis Best.
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waterfalls Sep 2019
Parise, Your sister is at a maximum level of stress. She is now losing weight. She is already tired. She needs relief. Someone to come in and help her with the responsibilities. She needs some pampering and love. Fresh Air. She has her own physical and mental health issues, and a husband. She needs to place dad in a assisted living facility maybe and focus on her health by getting some rest and eating right. Hopefully her husband would be supportive of any changes she must make. I'm so concerned about her losing weight. She must make changes now. Hugs!!
Waterfalls..
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This is going to sound weird, but for me it was $2500 peridontal dental bill which saved my my back teeth but left a gigantic hole/pocket that must be cleaned thoroughly at least twice a day. Cleaning after every feed even better. Nothing killed my appetite like having to have the hassle of meticulously clean teeth and pocket! I am serious. It cleaned up my "just a little of this or that" habit and somehow slowed down my anxieties and appetite urges to allow me to plan my eats in my mind each day.
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waterfalls Sep 2019
Yep!! 50's. This is so true. An awakening of a financial emergency has caused me in many cases to control my anxiety attacks over junk food. If the money isn't there, you have to look inward. It's very interesting when it hits the pocket. In your case the teeth. Mine sometime stomach upsets. Now I'm forced to slow down because I have to buy things for my stomach allergies or colds attacking because of the stress. A crazy cycle!!!
Waterfalls!
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Thank you Mort1221 for your post-sending support to you! I am absolutely dealing with this issue. It's a tough one, thank you to all who responded, such good ideas. There's just something about eating that makes you feel good and then there you are with the weight gain. Everyone wrote great ideas, I'll just add, whatever you try just don't stop, we all have to keep trying to get/stay healthy. I love the idea of caregivers for caregivers - the new job! Best wishes.
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Caregiving is stressful. I don't drink alcoholic beverages. I don't smoke. And the medications from my psychiatrist don't help. But you know what does help? Ice cream, specifically, Haagendazs. I eat half a container of that and I'm calm. I feel better. Life is worth living again. Yes, I'm gaining weight as a caregiver.
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Oh, yes! I had given up cycling as well as going to the gym and yoga. I'd take portions that were too large, pour a large vodka and juice when my husband's hallucinations or rantings (due to Parkinson's) would start, not sleep well and get up during the night for cheese and crackers or worse. Partly because I joined 'Sweatember' to exercise daily during September and partly because I turn 64 and am recovering from polymyalgia rheumatica and I just decided that I must DO something. I got apps on my iphone to help with tracking food intake, steps and exercise. I have a friend who not only walks our dog half the time but he stays with my husband and has a good chat or lets him sleep. I am going to get back to social services (We're in Scotland) and see what else they can do to help us. Meantime, I'm taking any moment I can to take care of my job, my one volunteer job, and just relaxing when I can to recenter my self. I take much smaller portions, exercise and savour that mug of green tea! I pray more often and thank God for my cleaning lady and all the help I get. Keep looking for any small way that suits you and that helps you relax. I've heard that people who want to quit smoking resort to goin places and doing things where they can't smoke. Is there any place or activity where you would not eat? I hope you find a way....don't give up! Taking care of yourself is most important!
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Sleep is said to be important for losing weight and over good health but sometimes I skimp on it so I can not feel like all I do is take care of my mother.She’s an absolute sweetheart but the stress of caring for her is overwhelming.I’m young and have been taking care of her for a very long time and it’s tough to see everyone getting to live their lives and no one relating to me because they probably won’t get to experience being a caregiver for 20-30 years from now.I barely go out since she’s bed bound I get a break from a sibling every couple of months (maybe a few hours) and with me being home I tend to eat way more than I should.I have zero energy so working out is like asking me to run a marathon even if it’s something small.I used to walk for hours now I only get out for a short period of time when I work part time.I feel like I eat just because it’s something to do .The weight is sooooo hard to lose!!!! And to think I complained when I was skinny!!! how dare I !!!
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DizzyBritches Sep 2019
I know. I look at old photos, and I want to slap my 25-year-old self for thinking I weighed too much.
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Ok..here goes. Since my post on the 27th and setting myself up for this "challenge" I have decreased my snacking and increased the length of time I am on my treadmill. Difficult to do with a bad knee!
I have lost...drum roll......2 pounds.
Notice no starting weight was given so I will just keep up with reporting pounds lost!
Anyone else care to report this past weeks loss?
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CarlaCB Sep 2019
Congratulations, grandma1954. I started on August 31 using the Lose It! app (thanks, lizmeson) and have not stepped on the scale since then. I don't plan to do that for at least a week and maybe longer. What I'm really looking for is a little roominess in my shirts - that's when I'll know I'm losing. Keep up the good work!
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I'm sure you're getting a lot of answers and good advice. Here is my two cents. Do it for yourself, whatever works for you. I lost over 30 lbs two years ago. I am working with a nutritionalist/personal trainer, it keeps me accountable. I enjoy having somewhere to go and working out with my trainer is better than being alone. It's scheduled so I don't try to fit it in and I have someone watching my dad when I go. I feel better at 62 than I have for a long time. Do something for yourself, it's a must. You can't take care of anyone if you don't take care of yourself first! Be good to yourself and be kind to yourself! If it's a class you enjoy or whatever - schedule it and don't feel guilty getting out!
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DizzyBritches Sep 2019
I toy with the idea of hiring a personal trainer from time to time. I did have one years ago, and she kept me on track.
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Thanks CarlaCB, I have been trying to do this without having to account to anyone and it is difficult. So this Forum is the next best thing to joining one of the weight loss "groups" and this is less expensive!
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CarlaCB Sep 2019
Just so you know, Lose It! is a free site (although there are some enhancements you can pay for) and it provides a community and lots of encouragement as well as a journal to track your calories and your progress. I am really liking it so far!
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Yes! mostly because my mom thinks she wants this or that. Then she won't eat it so instead of that bag of cookies/ice cream bars/ cookies/ rolls/ cookies.. lol =/ going to waste I eat them. all of them.. 10 lbs on since May =( Plus she can't be left alone and all she does is sit in her chair and watch tv or doze, so I've found that all I want to do is sit on the couch and watch tv or doze. sigh...
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Nuttybuddy1 Sep 2019
I do the same thing. I have gained 35 pounds in 31/2 years.
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Congrats, Grandma1954. That’s how it starts! I had lost 8 pounds since late July. I went off the rails a bit during Labor Day weekend, but it’s back to business now. I haven’t weighed myself, but I doubt I could have eaten enough to regain 8 pounds of fat in 4 days.
I use Spark People to keep myself accountable. The community is diverse and very positive. I think I have the paid version (it was a one-time special back in 2016) but that version doesn’t have anything that you’d really need. Even the free version has a vast amount of information (videos and articles) on just about everything related to nutrition and exercise at every adult age.
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Angeleyes1 Sep 2019
I'm on Spark People too. I have the free version and find it's a wonderful resource! I love the recipes & inspirational stories. I'm just a little shy about making friends on there, and sometimes find I just don't have time at the end of a long day to get on there. It's for more than weight loss guys, there are other groups you can join too - like motivation, etc. I think it is great for weight loss, tracking your progress, finding resources and for many people, making some nice friends.
May I ask if you're on as DizzyBritches?
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Ok group. Water is my focus today.
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I’m too.I just gained 4 lbs.
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Mort1221 Sep 2019
Focus on water today!
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I find I stress eat! When Mom is having a fairly good day I can keep on track. When her narcisstic behavior is at its best & she has our home in an uproar, food comforts me during a good cry. I put on 7 lbs. Then injured my back lifting Mom & dr put me on prednisone for the inflammation & Im scheduled for steroid injections so that adds weight, temporarily.
I feel miserable & bitter about the whole caregiving life. A skilled nursing facility can’t call soon enough letting us know they have a bed!
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Oh, yes! Not much to look forward to except eating. I, also, eat for same reasons.
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I must report I have done quite a lot of walking since the first of the month and am feeling somewhat "accomplished." Thanks to all who have posted, you have been inspiring me day by day!
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Nuttybuddy: By eating nothing but the same thing every day. Half cup of coffee and 4 slices of whole grain toast upon arising for the day. Then Southwest salad or Panera salad with an iced tea. I have been eating this way for 5 or more years. I rarely allow myself pastry products.
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anonymous828521 Sep 2019
So much discipline!
Do you vary that menu at all? I love salad & chicken, but I try making it different ways. Like: inside a wrap, or in a breadbowl, or maybe n "overnite salad"...I like those so much! Ever heard of it?
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Tiger55: I love discipline! No, I rarely vary my dietary needs. The only time I would is if I'm away from my home, a birthday dinner, an anniversary dinner, et al. On the birthday and anniversary dinners, I ALWAYS order the same thing - a lovely grilled salmon fillet. No, I've never heard of an overnite [sic] salad and frankly, it doesn't sound very appetizing.
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I can assist you. I'm maintaining a 70+ lb wt loss for over 35 years without dieting. I may write an article for AgingCare.
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Nuttybuddy1 Sep 2019
I wish you could help me. I have put on 35 lbs in 5 years. I have hyperthyroidism and take depression med. I can’t seem to lose. I am taking care of my 90 year old mother and I am 70 years old.
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Key is making small changes through awareness and choice for lasting results. Create 'win-win' situations. Know your vulnerable times and create, ahead of time, alternative thoughts and behavior to interrupt the usual, non-productive (overeating) behavior. Learn to be your best friend/support. Work with yourself instead of fighting against yourself/ urges/ eating in stress response (to over eat or eat foods that numb you out). When you need more clarify and energy, what many do is the opposite - eat unhealthy.

Article on Greater Good website:

What Is the Best Diet for Mental Health?
New research is exploring the connection between the foods we eat and our feelings of depression, anxiety, and happiness.
By Kira M. Newman | September 18, 2019

Should you eat an apple—or a bag of Oreos? Go to McDonald’s—or the vegetarian restaurant on the corner? When we make these everyday food choices, many of us think first of our physical health and appearance. But there’s another factor we may want to consider in picking foods: their impact on our mental health. A growing body of research is discovering that food doesn’t just affect our waistline but also our moods, emotions, and even longer-term conditions like depression. Which makes sense, after all. Our brains are physical entities, running on the energy that we put into our bodies, affected by shifts in our
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Mort1221 Oct 2019
I agree that food effects your mood and wellbeing! Great post!
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Hi Mort,

You're not alone! Lots of us out there. If you’d like, check out this thread. We try to keep exercising and write about how it’s going:

https://www.agingcare.com/discussions/looking-for-online-exercise-buddies-445993.htm
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Nuttybuddy: If you were Hyperthyroid, you would be really skinny.
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Nuttybuddy1 Sep 2019
Well maybe I’m hypothyroid. I get them mixed up. I take synthroid.
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Yes, but I also learned I had sleep apnea as well, so I do not know which issue is really from the weight gain.
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I responded to this thread when it was just starting. Since the end of August I have lost 17 lbs (according to my doctor's scale). I have been using LoseIt to track calories and joined the local Planet Fitness, which is free with my Medicare plan. I have a lot more weight to lose, and I know I won't lose at this pace for much longer, but it's very heartening to have the numbers on the scale going down instead of up. My immediate goal is to get back into my winter clothes by the time winter rolls around - my long pants and long-sleeved shirts are a size smaller than what I've been wearing over the summer. (I'm in Florida - winter clothes won't be needed for a few more months).

Good luck and much success to everyone on this journey!
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Isthisrealyreal Oct 2019
Well done and congratulations!
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I am down below 170 for the first time in years.. like 12 lbs off! I am happy, have not really noticed I am eating less, but I have noticed I am eating more "Summer food".. tomatoes and fruit. I am going to have problems soon when I am stuck with grocery store produce. I bought a cabbage yesterday.. soup is on the menu for this week! Mom and I will eat it. Hubs will eat whatever else he cooks. Tonight he made pork and sauerkraut.. I can have all the sauerkraut I want,,thank goodness
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CarlaCB Oct 2019
Good for you, Pam! I am having cabbage this week too. I especially like the combination of cabbage and tomatoes, with curry-type spices. You can braise chicken pieces or skinless boneless parts in the spicy tomato sauce, layer the chopped cabbage on top, and simmer until it's all tender and yummy. That's one of my favorite "diet" meals.
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Nuttybuddy: Yes, that's okay. You must be hypothyroid.
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Well, I have finally started my Facebook page. I am so nervous about it but I am putting it out there. It is called The Everyday Nurse. Real transparency...It does promote my caregiver coaching business but each week I will focus on a different topic as it relates to a caregivers health. I am calling it The Healthy Caregiver Crusade. This week is about being more conscious as you go through your day. How do you eat? How do you talk to yourself? Do you just let you day happen to you or do you plan it? Check it out if you are interested.
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